Dear Varun,
I’m sitting in our bedroom alone. Vishva has just woken up and you have taken him downstairs to join the rest of the family who are visiting for Thanksgiving. It has been a while since I have written a letter. Many were started in my mind but none have actually made it to paper. Tonight, though, even though I am supposed to be prepping for class and am feeling exhausted, I thought that I would take just a few moments to write some thoughts, especially what I am thankful for this particular year.
Of course I am thankful that we have Vishva who is the happiest of babies and really a joy to be around. I was worried that when I had a kid of my own that I would eventually run out of stuff to do with them. So far that hasn’t happened. Of course, it is true that he is still mostly sleeping so perhaps that will come later but being with him is quite natural. It has been wonderful to see his personality grow and I am so excited to learn more about him as he grows.
What I am particularly thankful for though is you. I know you said that you were thankful for me during your Thanksgiving dinner and I didn’t want to seem like a copycat by also saying the same but there were two things I was thinking about. One, it has been amazing to see you become a father and excel in this new role. You are so patient and gentle, it moves me to tears every time. When I see you interact with Vishva, I cannot control the clenching of my heart. He is protected and safe and so am I.
Two, I am thankful to have a partner who loves me the way that you do. It is so, so rare. I don’t know what I have ever done to deserved receiving that kind of love (I guess it is something that everyone deserves but few actually get?). I make so many mistakes and have so many flaws, but somehow you always show me the most care and love. It is truly baffling. When I was younger, I used to read these romance novels where the guy would just be crazy about the girl but crazy in the sense that they were so deeply committed to that one person, there was nothing that could shake that. Given my history, I didn’t think that existed in the real world. And yet here you are. You are so intelligent and sharp, kind and generous, good looking and good with your hands, fully capable, soft and strong. It is such a gift to be your partner, Varun. You are always thanking me and making it seem like you owe me something, but getting the chance to be your partner is the greatest gift in the entire world.
I guess I should get back to my prep because time is so short, but thank you. Thank you for listening to my story several years ago and being part of my story now. You are my greatest joy. I love you.
Your wife,
Prea